Mothers&Daughters

Posted 2023-04-25

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Mothers&Daughters

Mothers&Daughters"Youwon'tforgettobringthepotatomasher,willyou?"IsaidtomymotheronthephoneaftertellingherIhadtohaveamastectomy.Evenat82,and3000milesawayonthelongdistanceline,sheknewwhatImeant:Soupymashedpotatoes.

Thiswhatwasshehadmadeforeveryillnessormishapofmychildhood-servedinasoupbowlwithaniceroundspoon.ButIhadbeenluckyasachildandwasrarelysick.Mostoftenthepotatomedicinesootheddisappointmentornourishedamildcold.ThistimeIwasseriouslyill.

ArrivingonthemidnightplanefromVirginia,MomlookedfreshasadaisywhenshewalkedthroughthefrontdoorofmyhouseinCaliforniathedayafterIcamehomefromthehospital.Icouldbarelykeepmyeyesopen,butthelastthingIsawbeforeIfellasleepwasMomunzippinghercarefullypackedsuitcaseandtakingouther60-year-oldpotatomasher.Theoneshereceivedasashowergift,withthewornwoodenhandleandtheyearsofmemories.

ShewasmashingpotatoesinmykitchenthedayItoldhertearfullythatIwouldhavetoundergochemotherapy.Sheputthemasherdownandlookedmesquarelyintheeye."I'llstaywithyou,howeverlongittakes,"shetoldme."ThereisnothingmoreimportantIhavetodoinmylifethanhelpyougetwell."IhadalwaysthoughtIwasthestubbornoneinmyfamilybutinthefivemonthsthatfollowedIsawthatIcamebymytraithonestly.

MomhaddecidedthatIwouldnotpre-deceaseher.Shesimplywouldnothaveit.ShetookmeondailywalksevenwhenIcouldn'tgetanyfurtherthanourdriveway.ShecrushedthepillsIhadtotakeandputtheminjam,becauseeveninmiddle-age,withagrowndaughterofmyown,Icouldn'tswallowpillsanybetterthanwhenIwasachild.

Whenmyhairstartedtofallout,sheboughtmecutehats.Shegavemewarmgingeraleinacrystalwineglasstocalmmytummyandsatupwithmeonsleeplessnights.Sheservedmeteainchinacups.

WhenIwasdown,shewasup.Whenshewasdown,Imusthavebeenasleep.Sheneverletmeseeit.And,intheend,Igotwell.Iwentbacktomywriting.

IhavediscoveredthatMother'sDaydoesn'thappensomeSundayinMay.Buteverydayyouareluckyenoughtohaveamotheraroundtoloveyou.