It’s Never Too Late
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It’s Never Too Late
Severalyearsago,whileattendingacommunicationscourse,Iexperiencedamostunusualprocess.Theinstructoraskedustolistanythinginourpastthatwefeltashamedof,guiltyabout,regretted,orincompleteabout.Thenextweekheinvitedparticipantstoreadtheirlistsaloud.Thisseemedlikeaveryprivateprocess,butthere'salwayssomebravesoulinthecrowdwhowillvolunteer.Aspeoplereadtheirlists,minegrewlonger.Afterthreeweeks,Ihad101itemsonmylist.Theinstructorthensuggestedthatwefindwaystomakeamends,apologizetopeople,ortakesomeactiontorightanywrongdoing.Iwasseriouslywonderinghowthiscouldeverimprovemycommunications,havingvisionsofalienatingjustabouteveryonefrommylife.
Thenextweek,themannexttomeraisedhishandandvolunteeredthisstory:
"Whilemakingmylist,Irememberedanincidentfromhighschool.IgrewupinasmalltowninIowa.Therewasasheriffintownthatnoneofuskidsliked.Onenight,mytwobuddiesandIdecidedtoplayatrickonSheriffBrown.Afterdrinkingafewbeers,wefoundacanofredpaint,climbedthetallwatertankinthemiddleoftown,andwrote,onthetank,inbrightredletters:SheriffBrownisans.o.b.Thenextday,thetownarosetoseeourglorioussign.Withintwohours,SheriffBrownhadmytwopalsandmeinhisoffice.MyfriendsconfessedandIlied,denyingthetruth.Nooneeverfoundout.
"Nearly20yearslater,SheriffBrown'snameappearsonmylist.Ididn'tevenknowifhewasstillalive.Lastweekend,IdialedinformationinmyhometownbackinIowa.Sureenough,therewasaRogerBrownstilllisted.Idialedhisnumber.Afterafewrings,Iheard:`Hello?'Isaid:`SheriffBrown?’Pause.`Yup.’`Well,thisisJimmyCalkins.AndIwantyoutoknowthatIdidit.’Pause.`Iknewit!’heyelledback.Wehadagoodlaughandalivelydiscussion.Hisclosingwordswere:`Jimmy,Ialwaysfeltbadlyforyoubecauseyourbuddiesgotitofftheirchest,andIknewyouwerecarryingitaroundalltheseyears.Iwanttothankyouforcallingme...foryoursake.’"
Jimmyinspiredmetoclearupall101itemsonmylist.Ittookmealmosttwoyears,butbecamethespringboardandtrueinspirationformycareerasaconflictmediator.Nomatterhowdifficulttheconflict,crisisorsituation,Ialwaysrememberthatit'snevertoolatetoclearupthepastandbeginresolution.
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