What Motherhood Really Means

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1、What Motherhood Really Means（1）

What Motherhood Really Means

Timeisrunningoutformyfriend.Whilewearesittingatlunch,shecasuallymentionsthatsheandherhusbandarethinkingof"startingafamily."Whatshemeansisthatherbiologicalclockhasbegunitscountdown,andsheisbeingforcedtoconsidertheprospectofmotherhood.

"We'retakingasurvey,"shesays,halfjoking."DoyouthinkIshouldhaveababy?"

"Itwillchangeyourlife,"Isaycarefully,keepingmytoneneutral.

"Iknow,"shesays."NomoresleepinginonSaturdays,nomorespontaneousvacations......"

ButthatisnotwhatImeanatall.Itrytodecidewhattotellher.Iwanthertoknowwhatshewillneverlearninchildbirthclasses:thatthephysicalwoundsofchildbearingheal,butthatbecomingamotherwillleaveanemotionalwoundsorawthatshewillbeforevervulnerable.Iconsiderwarningherthatshewillneverreadanewspaperagainwithoutasking,"Whatifthathadbeenmychild?"Thateveryplanecrash,everyfire,willhaunther.Thatwhensheseespicturesofstarvingchildren,shewillwonderifanythingcouldbeworsethanwatchingyourchilddie.

Ilookathermanicurednailsandstylishsuitandthinkthatnomatterhowsophisticatedsheis,becomingamotherwillreducehertotheprimitivelevelofabearprotectinghercub.Thatanurgentcallof"Mommy!"willcausehertodropherbestcrystalwithoutamoment'shesitation.

IfeelIshouldwarnherthatnomatterhowmanyyearsshehasinvestedinhercareer,shewillbeprofessionallyderailedbymotherhood.Shemightarrangeforchildcare,butonedayshewillbegoingintoanimportantbusinessmeeting,andshewillthinkaboutherbaby'ssweetsmell.Shewillhavetouseeveryounceofdisciplinetokeepfromrunninghome,justtomakesureherchildisallright.

Iwantmyfriendtoknowthateverydaydecisionswillnolongerberoutine.Thata5-year-oldboy'sdesiretogotothemen'sroomratherthanthewomen'satarestaurantwillbecomeamajordilemma.Thatissuesofindependenceandgenderidentitywillbeweighedagainsttheprospectthatachildmolestermaybelurkingintherestroom.Howeverdecisiveshemaybeattheoffice,shewillsecond-guessherselfconstantlyasamother.

Lookingatmyattractivefriend,Iwanttoassureherthateventuallyshewillshedthepoundsofpregnancy,butshewillneverfeelthesameaboutherself.Thatherlife,nowsoimportant,willbeoflessvaluetoheronceshehasachild.Thatshewouldgiveitupinamomenttosaveheroffspring,butwillalsobegintohopeformoreyears--nottoaccomplishherowndreams,buttowatchherchildaccomplishhis.

Myfriend'srelationshipwithherhusbandwillchange,butnotinthewayshethinks.Iwishshecouldunderstandhowmuchmoreyoucanloveamanwhoisalwayscarefultopowderthebabyorwhoneverhesitatestoplaywithhissonordaughter.Ithinksheshouldknowthatshewillfallinlovewithherhusbandagainforreasonsshenowfindsveryunromantic.

Iwanttodescribetomyfriendtheexhilarationofseeingyourchildlearntohitabaseball.Iwanttocaptureforherthebellylaughofababywhoistouchingthesoftfurofadogforthefirsttime.Iwanthertotastethejoythatissorealithurts.

Myfriend'squizzicallookmakesmerealizethattearshaveformedinmyeyes."You'llneverregretit,"Isayfinally.Then,squeezingmyfriend'shand,Iofferaprayerforherandformeandallthemeremortalwomenwhostumbletheirwayintothisholiestofcallings.

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