To be continue

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1、To be continue(1)

To be continue

我想说些煽情话,能柔软你们的内心。

你看聊斋写的多好,那些不可理喻的孤魂野鬼,其实都是我们的心魔。

现在,北京时间二零一四年一月三十一日一点四十八分,我捧着咖啡坐在书桌前。

窗外一直响着烟花炸裂长空的声音,天空五色的烟花大朵大朵地盛开,夹杂着熙熙攘攘的嘈杂人声。

似乎更远一些的地方,还有小提琴的乐声奏起。

黑夜让人省事自我,你我都会在脑海中建立关于这个世界的庞大数据库,而在这样的节日,你无法避免用悲喜来折腾自己的神经。

而现在的我,就在这样的夜晚手捧一杯咖啡,坐在书桌前。

绝对没有装小资的情调,毕竟雀巢三合一速溶似乎也没有这样的资本,暖暖手还是很窝心的。

其实黑暗真的挺不错的,你会情不自禁的感受到理智思维的美妙,条理清晰的帮你分析很多事情,甚至你会感到时间的停顿。当然,有时候我也很担心,如果时间真的停顿了,那么一转身,我是不是就会从背后的玻璃隔板中透过反射看到自己青丝如瀑转瞬成雪。

虽然我没有青丝如瀑,很抱歉,我是短头发。

噢,我似乎有些跑题了。

那么回归主题,也回归视线,我有些沉默的看着书桌上的一封封被小心封住的信。

这些都是我自己写给自己的。

每一年的最后一天,我都习惯郑重其事地拿出一大张白纸,铺展开来,然后一本正经的用黑色马克笔写下“亲爱的新一年的我,展信安”这几个大字,接着洋洋洒洒的写下自己对一年生活的回顾,并且许下自己在新的一年的心愿。

我说过的,重大的仪式,是一种形式感,在形式感中获得庄重,好像那白纸上的一个个黑字真的能变成现实似的。

不过你知道的,心愿始终就是心愿而已。所以我从来不会把这种东西写在日记里,我可不想有一天回首往事,看到的就是那么不切实际的自己。

形式感给人以庄重,但不能当成饭吃。

比如在二零一二年的除夕我认认真真的写下“我很抱歉给你留下了很多麻烦,我支持你能继续做你自己,但更多的时候我还是希望你能收敛一点,尽量表现得谦虚温顺,步步为营——好吧,我当然知道你不行。”

的确,二零一二年的我只有最有一点说对了,我当然不行。

“我知道你不愿意委屈自己,那些胡扯的鬼话相信你也不会相信。那么我希望你不要后悔,坦然面对。”

我一下子感受到很多堆积在心中的伤感,沉淀下无数生涩粗糙的沙粒。

但是,我想告诉你,我做的很好,我已经明白,这样那样的临来送往,才是我们全部的经过。

以及,谢谢你总在我愤怒无力的时候提醒我为什么要出发,谢谢你总在我春风得意的时候,警戒我不是所有事情都是能让你掌控的,谢谢你也在无意中告诉我,有时候,踌躇满志是万念俱灰的另一张脸孔。

谢谢你,那些曾经的我,还有,再见。

因为我不需要在凭借形式感提醒自己。

Tobecontinue。

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